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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 22, 2010 9:53:02 GMT -5
aey : ) im from India and i'm 19. you don't really get vampires here, heh, too religious a state. i tried searching for typical awakening symptoms but i couldnt find any so im just making this new thread. i'm...well, im just gonna post whatever comes to mind. typical characterisitcs include sunlight right? well, ive been to a doctor, she says i have photosensitivity, she tried medicines and creams on me, but theyre not working. i get rashes, my skin burns and i get horrible migraines. it started around 5-7 yrs ago, was dormant for some time, but its back in all its glory now -_- i dnt like bright ness..even on the TV or computer.. as for sleep, i sleep pretty well; though i don't get sleep before 3 or 4 am. i guess that's lifestyle, i dunno... i prefer nights. I HATE DESPISE sun heat or fire x ( winter FTW. : p never had an issue with blood. i quite like drawing it and the taste seems.. well, not so bad. no squeamishness but no actual bloodlust either. i might just be masochist though : s i really don't know! ermm, as a child, i'd never been moody. and my mom has always been a mean person to me and my family. but of late, i can't stand her. don't really like being around people too much, just a couple friends..but my moods are really getting to me n i can't tolerate anything. all those...bright cheerful mundane things of life are pissing off. yeah that's depression, mhm? anti depressants don't work. i've been getting tingly shocks of late. just...random shivers pass through my body..i'm fine healthwise..but somethings..i havnt been able to identify what.. trigger off these ..tingles all over...? : s as for stamina, for a girl, i'm an average level of strong.. nothing exceptional. just above average i guess..i couldnt run for my life before...n ive never tried since..my balance really sucks, as well.. psychically speaking, very very weird nightmares..cannibals, aliens? im always seeing 'people' in my dreams ive never seen.. before or since.. certain things stand out to me.. timings, like 11:11 or 13:13.. my memory was excellent.. and then all of a sudden..ive forgotten most of the stuff i could clearly recollect.. it mightve been just sheer will to erase out my past...but it seems ive selective memory now.. though i can recall those memories quit sharply.. lo, these are typical non vampire symptoms eh? sorry if ive wasted your time.. : ( ive.....always been been drawn to the supernatural so i guess that's all it is.. if you think there's something to all this then, if you could kindly list down a few symptoms i could tick them off? thankyou : )
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 22, 2010 10:03:34 GMT -5
oh also, none of my senses work well. i have very poor vision, i was born this way...my ears are pretty much always blocked.. : P a doctor once commented it was a miracle i could hear through all that wax... sorry if im being icky : ( just...details : ) oh i just read about blood taste in the mouth..oh hell yes that happens very very often... and im especially hungry in the nights : [ its like... an insane urge..i eat pretty well, i *should* be fat by now..but im just a flat thin skinny ass plain : | i mean, i'm full..i dnt want to eat more..but im still insanely ..hungry? is there a medical condition for confused stomachs? : P n then there's, the nauseous feelings i randomly get.. out of nowhere.. i think i should mention though, i never was much of a foodie, and then those midnight cravings happened, and i'm not satiisfied hpowever much i eat : \ oww i sound like a glut :' [
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Post by bomb on Nov 24, 2010 0:12:42 GMT -5
hello my name is adam, though you can call me bomb. any questions you have i may have answers.
quite a long list of symptoms, sort of reminds me in my younger days as well...
as of now it sounds like it might be an awakening or possibly just a strange list of symptoms.
a fact: the average person is born with at least 3 defects. be it physcial menttal, or subtle everyone has at least 3.
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 24, 2010 2:50:27 GMT -5
oh.
i wasn't expecting the affirmative, i admit.. : P
i have no idea how this works..so for the all important question now: what do i do about all this?! or in other words, what's the next step? : s
and thankyou very, VERY much for the reply...grateful *somebody* is taking this seriously...
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Post by bomb on Nov 24, 2010 13:32:11 GMT -5
im just going to let you know that the only person who can tell if youre awakening or not is you. i can only offer advice on how to better figure this out or not. has there been any stronger symptoms lately? if so how long ago did they start?
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 25, 2010 14:36:33 GMT -5
hmm...around three weeks or so...? inexplicable hunger, increased photosensitivity [ouch that hurts x ( these migraines hurt like a mean person ] ...ermm let's see anything outta the ordinary... oh yes smells..i'm not too sure if that's the sinus but i've been a little extra sensitive to those lately..perfumes=harsh x ( tiredness. irritability.
i didnt know jack about all this..random urge to research vampirism led me to awakening and then here..and i realised oh hey these symptoms sound a lot like mine : P but yeah three-four weeks.
again, thanks a lot : )
ps: happened to tell my bf about this. he sd it's all about the placebo considering the spurt in vampire books n stuff of late ... i considered it seriously, and think not. so maybe yeah, THAT'S my sign?
X
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Post by bomb on Nov 25, 2010 19:38:36 GMT -5
some people are born this way and soem are not, only time can say for sure. sometimes a little inspiration from fiction is all it takes to jumpstart the process, though it could still be the placebo...
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 26, 2010 10:00:00 GMT -5
mm hm... so.. i should sit this out..? i know i'm being quite an annoyance with all my questions, sorry : ( but.. i dnt quite know what to do next? : s do i wait?
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 26, 2010 14:32:41 GMT -5
alright. ive been doing my homework : ) i read up a bit more, i.e i just really need to confirm this is an awakening and that i don't need anti depressants. these past four weeks.. have been well, hell for me. i'm sort of a poet. when something depresses me, words flow out of me. but these days, it would seem it's just gotten better. like... i can actually express everything down in words. it's coming to me more naturally. but that means i FEEL a lot more. it's extreme emotions for me. i was alone, literally , these weeks... and i did a bit of soul searching you could say.. so whatever i thought about, i totally delved into it and..well, *felt* everything. but i also felt utterly alone and emptiness. now i'm back to uni and normal life, and i'm meeting people again. and i seem to be drawn even more toward what people around me are ...going through? like im trying to read into their feelings. it's like ive become philosophical or something. n i can't stand my 'bimbo' ish classmates who think im too " weird " : | other times, small things are pissing me off. like if my dad or bf aren't talking to me, i fly into this temper n physically need to unleash it. on things. on people mostly. i either want to hurt them or comfort them. its.. confusing to say the least. these moods are bothersome though.. its like im upsetting everybody around me by just being me. all im doing is just being...there. quiet, to myself. i longed to be in the 'in' scene before. but not anymore. ive just ..changed. i prefer quiet and contemplative now. and to top it all off. im having severe digestion problems that won't go away. and the hunger, which is very much physical like normal rumbly food hunger and not a thirst, is getting stronger. as for thirst, a little more than normal, but im constantly drinking water so that's fine. blame it on the weatherman. the sun is too f***ing crazy : P ive been to a doctor who says i'm fine and that it may be stress : s (don't have any. apart from my constant depression thanks to i-dnt-know-what) what i *do* realise though, is that im *fine* around my bf. (the only person i hang with) happy and sane apart from the *grumble* very well known stomach problems. just the occasional irritance. and as soon as he leaves, im back to moody unagreeable moi. he says i wear him out. could that be me being psi? : s the same case with my dad. suspiciously this is all just sounds like a case of manic depression. or need fr attention? (im not too sure, ive never liked psycho) though personally i think these changes are just too weird and sudden to be that.
ps: i like being here. i find you guys warm n funny n so NOT shallow like the rest of everybody here x ( it would be so cool if we all could talk more often ^^
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 26, 2010 14:34:12 GMT -5
nnnggghhh m sorry!! x ( i tried keeping this short! i can't talk face to face. so it all gets off here on keyboard n screen : P
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Post by bomb on Nov 27, 2010 16:28:46 GMT -5
it sounds like an awakening, but like i said it is never 100% sure.
P.S. you can type all you want, i read all of it.
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 28, 2010 6:05:54 GMT -5
hmm... i shall wait it out then... though i don't quite know what to do with myself in the meantime.. i seem to be delving deeper into this depression and anger n this very physical, highly insatiable hunger. n the funny part is, i don't really have a craving for blood. yeah it's around, it's fascinating, i like sucking on a cut..blood tastes ..nice? but im not blood crazy : s the idea of animal blood grosses me out. lol you wouldnt want to experiment with indian animals : P and no way in heaven or hell am i gonna get a donor. ill just be shut up in those awful asylums or exorcised or something. : P so is ingesting blood the only solution to getting away from the hunger and the moods and the godawful migraines? cause ive no way of trying to see if it works and i have no alternative either! ive read about rare steaks, but you dnt get those around here. (so this is what dead ends feel like : P )
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Post by bomb on Nov 28, 2010 19:52:57 GMT -5
there are recpies you can use to deal with it, and a nice juicy steak is always nice.
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 29, 2010 1:38:47 GMT -5
recipes? cooking ?! o.O ai yai yai... ah well, so this is the only way out eh? hmm, gotta get my kitchen armor out then : P is it distractable/ignorable? like, playing the guitar or something? or constantly put myself in whirring motion? thanks a krillion for the help. ps: have you heard of any indian sangs? just curious to know..
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Post by darkblackriver on Nov 29, 2010 2:47:38 GMT -5
also. um. i'm a roman catholic. on/off thing. you know how it is, one is inclined to stray. but one thing for sure is that i *do* have fear of god. and i stumbled upon a site that quoted all sorts of bible verses that strictly instruct us not to indulge in vampirism. : | else, being cut off and cast into the Pit is inevitable. i'm no religious freak. quite the contrary. but even i dnt want to have to continue a rejected dark existence. i mean all of us, at the end of the day, murderers abortionists and even aethists or not, know there is a Higher entity, and he does not support this. and i dnt believe in reincarnations or the undead theories. -_- it's understandable if you're uncomfortable with this topic. but if you do have some light to share on this, i'd be grateful. : )
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