Post by malefict on Jul 26, 2010 21:18:08 GMT -5
Hello. My name is Mandi, I'm 22 years old. Several years have gone by since I began feeling extremely different from my peers. Albeit, I have felt out of step with my peer group for the majority of my life. For the most part, I shrugged all of this stuff off as puberty and being a teenager because the answer seemed to fit the symptoms at the time. Now, a few years later, not only are these things still present.. but they are getting worse. Most especially over the last several months.
The strongest of these symptoms is what feels to me like a craving. I feel hungry, thirsty, sexually deprived, drained, fatigued, and empty... and nothing I do seems to fill this aching hole. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and i'm tired. I'm restless. All of this is rather uncharacteristic for me.
I've always been intuitive, and empathetic. I've always attributed that to a predisposition due to my astrological sign (Pisces). I'm agile. Strong for my size, but nothing extraordinary by any means. I'm psychic to a very mild degree, I usually just attributed that to a lucky guess depending on the situation, really, but I've frequently been able to "predict" the future, or know the outcome of a question or decision before it's been asked or made. I've also always been able to easily manipulate a person or situation to get what I wanted. I've always been more nocturnal, but since starting college up that has not been an option. I've always been sensitive to the sun. Eyes, skin.. I burn easy. I wear sunglasses all day, in doors, and into the night until it's dark. If i'm driving, I have to keep the glasses on at night because the rays of light coming off of street lights, signs, traffic signals, and car lights hurt my eyes and make it difficult to focus on the road.
I've been in and out of the doctors office numerous times over the last few months. The only thing they ever found wrong with me was a sinus infection. That was treated.. and we're back to square one. No explanation for anything i'm going through. Migraines, fatigue, aches and pains, stomach aches.
The worst of all is when I spend time with a friend one-on-one. While they're droning on about some story they're telling I find myself zoning out, watching their pulse beat and catch myself entralled with these ridiculous fantasies in my head. Violent fantasies... I can shake them off, but it's very un-nerving.
Any input... from anyone?
The strongest of these symptoms is what feels to me like a craving. I feel hungry, thirsty, sexually deprived, drained, fatigued, and empty... and nothing I do seems to fill this aching hole. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and i'm tired. I'm restless. All of this is rather uncharacteristic for me.
I've always been intuitive, and empathetic. I've always attributed that to a predisposition due to my astrological sign (Pisces). I'm agile. Strong for my size, but nothing extraordinary by any means. I'm psychic to a very mild degree, I usually just attributed that to a lucky guess depending on the situation, really, but I've frequently been able to "predict" the future, or know the outcome of a question or decision before it's been asked or made. I've also always been able to easily manipulate a person or situation to get what I wanted. I've always been more nocturnal, but since starting college up that has not been an option. I've always been sensitive to the sun. Eyes, skin.. I burn easy. I wear sunglasses all day, in doors, and into the night until it's dark. If i'm driving, I have to keep the glasses on at night because the rays of light coming off of street lights, signs, traffic signals, and car lights hurt my eyes and make it difficult to focus on the road.
I've been in and out of the doctors office numerous times over the last few months. The only thing they ever found wrong with me was a sinus infection. That was treated.. and we're back to square one. No explanation for anything i'm going through. Migraines, fatigue, aches and pains, stomach aches.
The worst of all is when I spend time with a friend one-on-one. While they're droning on about some story they're telling I find myself zoning out, watching their pulse beat and catch myself entralled with these ridiculous fantasies in my head. Violent fantasies... I can shake them off, but it's very un-nerving.
Any input... from anyone?