Post by iMikeMonster on Jan 12, 2011 3:05:58 GMT -5
I've come to what I am going to explain as what I feel as the 'ending phase' of my awakening, but I have a few questions. I'm not entirely sure what is happening now. I no longer feel as if things are changing; that my enlightening of my self has climaxed and I've come to a peaceful, content understanding of everything I've become and grown accustomed to. My senses have enhanced extremely, but I don't know if I'm only now noticing these changes or if they've always been there/started awhile ago and I only now know what they really are.
The other night, I was resting in my living room when an all too familiar symptom suddenly crept into full force. I heard what sounded like children's laughter coming from outside my window; like children playing in my backyard. Now, last year, my family made me visit a psychiatrist for these problems and he diagnosed me with PTSD. Last year, I just went along with his diagnosis and assumed what I was hearing was meerly a hallucination; a fabrication of my own mind, but when it started again the other night, I did something I hadn't before; I followed the noise.
As I put my shoes, coat and gloves on, I was certain that I was clinically insane for even assuming that I would find children playing in my backyard. However, after almost a year of hearing random noises and everyone telling me I was just crazy, I decided to humor myself and confront the noises, even if there were just in my head.
I went outside and stood just off my porch and listened. There were no children as expected, but I listened to the darkness of woods and field surrounding my house to see if I could discren anything that could have been mistaken for what I heard. I stood in the snow for about a minute until I heard the noises again. I frooze. I centered my conscious and tried to locate the origin of the noises and that's when I found what was making the noise. It was a small pack of coyotes, whimpering and yelpping, but they weren't anywhere near my house. The noise was coming from beyond the large valley which rest just beyond the wooded field behind my house; at least 6 miles away. Tears froze on my face as I realized that what I had heard was real. Even more important, the precise volume, quality and acknowledgment of these sounds matched the intensity of which I'd heard the so-called hallucinations over the past year. My senses had refined to such an extent that I could hear a pack of coyotes from over 6 miles away as plain as if they had been sitting just outside my house. Maybe, some if not all of the unexplained noises I'd been haunted by for over a year were the same thing. What if I had only now come to terms with my awakening and could only now fully understand what I was doing; hearing specific sounds/noises from unreasonable distances.
So, my question isn't whether you think I'm crazy, need meds or the state of my sanity.. I'm curious as to if anyone else on here has experienced anything like this or has any input on the issue. I've also noticed several other occurances that I've always brushed off as sheer coincidence or paranoia that in fact (I believe) a newly adapted muse of sensory discernment.
P.S. 2/3 doctors agree that I am in fact clinically insane so, I don't need anyone telling me I'm nut. LOL ;D
The other night, I was resting in my living room when an all too familiar symptom suddenly crept into full force. I heard what sounded like children's laughter coming from outside my window; like children playing in my backyard. Now, last year, my family made me visit a psychiatrist for these problems and he diagnosed me with PTSD. Last year, I just went along with his diagnosis and assumed what I was hearing was meerly a hallucination; a fabrication of my own mind, but when it started again the other night, I did something I hadn't before; I followed the noise.
As I put my shoes, coat and gloves on, I was certain that I was clinically insane for even assuming that I would find children playing in my backyard. However, after almost a year of hearing random noises and everyone telling me I was just crazy, I decided to humor myself and confront the noises, even if there were just in my head.
I went outside and stood just off my porch and listened. There were no children as expected, but I listened to the darkness of woods and field surrounding my house to see if I could discren anything that could have been mistaken for what I heard. I stood in the snow for about a minute until I heard the noises again. I frooze. I centered my conscious and tried to locate the origin of the noises and that's when I found what was making the noise. It was a small pack of coyotes, whimpering and yelpping, but they weren't anywhere near my house. The noise was coming from beyond the large valley which rest just beyond the wooded field behind my house; at least 6 miles away. Tears froze on my face as I realized that what I had heard was real. Even more important, the precise volume, quality and acknowledgment of these sounds matched the intensity of which I'd heard the so-called hallucinations over the past year. My senses had refined to such an extent that I could hear a pack of coyotes from over 6 miles away as plain as if they had been sitting just outside my house. Maybe, some if not all of the unexplained noises I'd been haunted by for over a year were the same thing. What if I had only now come to terms with my awakening and could only now fully understand what I was doing; hearing specific sounds/noises from unreasonable distances.
So, my question isn't whether you think I'm crazy, need meds or the state of my sanity.. I'm curious as to if anyone else on here has experienced anything like this or has any input on the issue. I've also noticed several other occurances that I've always brushed off as sheer coincidence or paranoia that in fact (I believe) a newly adapted muse of sensory discernment.
P.S. 2/3 doctors agree that I am in fact clinically insane so, I don't need anyone telling me I'm nut. LOL ;D