Post by eloquence on Sept 7, 2011 15:42:20 GMT -5
Hi all,
This may or may not be the place to ask this but here goes. I cant quite call what I'm going through an awakening as I have simply been a sertain way for as long as I can think back. I just never had a word for it and I still don't...
In many ways it has limited my life as I know that anyone who gets too close to me eventualy lose them selves and I don't know how to stop it. I have never viewed it as that I take energy from them well maybe sexually but the problem seems to be bigger with me caring and as I have viewed it giving to them.
But the problem always arises in that the more I give the more they give back and while I sometimes feel like I have unlimmited resources the same don't go for others. Even worse... I usualy feel like what I give simply scratches the surface while what is returned runs much deeper.
Which goes to the way I found out about psi-vamps... My energy is such that if I don't work hard on containing it I fill an entire room. I use to joke about it saying if I relax I turn in to catnip... and guess who is the most effected?
Without knowing it this made me a some what of donor for years and the last one, the one who finaly put words to it, was simply soothing to be around, since the guy in Q could take some of my access... but then that turned as well. I don't know how doner-vampire bonds usualy developes but he became totaly dependent and started loosing him self in me. So I pulled away, but all that just got me thinking on who's really feeding on who?
Through him I did get the name psi-vamp but as you can see it's not a total fitt. Some things are :
I have psi-abillities. Even while keeping my lid on I can draw people to me with energy. I see auras most of the time, though I try not to look directly at them too much 'caus if I do they glow brighter, etc. My stomack is extreemly sensitive to acids. I am deffinetly more nocturnal. My intuition is sharp and I read people easily. I am greate at manipulating people and if it wasn't for my high moral and love for others I'd probably have been a total mean person. At times I have a problem being in crowds since I feel everybody too much and people arguing always gets me in the stomack. Even to walk in to a room where somebody's been arguing makes me uneasy, even if the persons have left the room.
And oh yea... I haven't read about it anywhere as being a Vamp trait but there is something in my voice. I can't explain it and I've only ever met one other person who has it but if you've encounterd it you will know what I'm talking about. Let's just say people tend to hang on every word I say.
The parts that don't fitt are easily summed up, I never really feel a lack of energy. I never feel the nead to feed. Either that or I simply don't know when I am doing it. Now don't get me wrong I enjoy taking in energy from time to time it's just that I don't feel the need to. And for me to spend a few days/weeks alone in my appartment is simply relaxing, mostly since I don't have to control my self as much.
So to the Q... Does this read psi-vamp to you? Or something else?
And more importantly... how do I keep people from losing themselves in me?
The only way I found so far is to stay away from them, breake it of compleetly and in time it lessens, but let's just say that don't make for any lasting relationships.
I'm thankfull for any help.
//Ella
This may or may not be the place to ask this but here goes. I cant quite call what I'm going through an awakening as I have simply been a sertain way for as long as I can think back. I just never had a word for it and I still don't...
In many ways it has limited my life as I know that anyone who gets too close to me eventualy lose them selves and I don't know how to stop it. I have never viewed it as that I take energy from them well maybe sexually but the problem seems to be bigger with me caring and as I have viewed it giving to them.
But the problem always arises in that the more I give the more they give back and while I sometimes feel like I have unlimmited resources the same don't go for others. Even worse... I usualy feel like what I give simply scratches the surface while what is returned runs much deeper.
Which goes to the way I found out about psi-vamps... My energy is such that if I don't work hard on containing it I fill an entire room. I use to joke about it saying if I relax I turn in to catnip... and guess who is the most effected?
Without knowing it this made me a some what of donor for years and the last one, the one who finaly put words to it, was simply soothing to be around, since the guy in Q could take some of my access... but then that turned as well. I don't know how doner-vampire bonds usualy developes but he became totaly dependent and started loosing him self in me. So I pulled away, but all that just got me thinking on who's really feeding on who?
Through him I did get the name psi-vamp but as you can see it's not a total fitt. Some things are :
I have psi-abillities. Even while keeping my lid on I can draw people to me with energy. I see auras most of the time, though I try not to look directly at them too much 'caus if I do they glow brighter, etc. My stomack is extreemly sensitive to acids. I am deffinetly more nocturnal. My intuition is sharp and I read people easily. I am greate at manipulating people and if it wasn't for my high moral and love for others I'd probably have been a total mean person. At times I have a problem being in crowds since I feel everybody too much and people arguing always gets me in the stomack. Even to walk in to a room where somebody's been arguing makes me uneasy, even if the persons have left the room.
And oh yea... I haven't read about it anywhere as being a Vamp trait but there is something in my voice. I can't explain it and I've only ever met one other person who has it but if you've encounterd it you will know what I'm talking about. Let's just say people tend to hang on every word I say.
The parts that don't fitt are easily summed up, I never really feel a lack of energy. I never feel the nead to feed. Either that or I simply don't know when I am doing it. Now don't get me wrong I enjoy taking in energy from time to time it's just that I don't feel the need to. And for me to spend a few days/weeks alone in my appartment is simply relaxing, mostly since I don't have to control my self as much.
So to the Q... Does this read psi-vamp to you? Or something else?
And more importantly... how do I keep people from losing themselves in me?
The only way I found so far is to stay away from them, breake it of compleetly and in time it lessens, but let's just say that don't make for any lasting relationships.
I'm thankfull for any help.
//Ella