Post by rustedhorses on Feb 14, 2013 15:07:57 GMT -5
Hi all, for the past week or so I've been on a continuous spree of trying to hunt down decent resources and information, and this forum looked like the best thing I've found so far.
To put things simply, things are weird for me, and always have been. I don't want to drop my entire life story on you folks, but I've had a seemingly never-ending series of odd events, feelings and things throughout my life that never quite made sense until about a week ago.
It started with a semi-innocuous conversation with my boyfriend, talking about odd feelings I had towards certain types of people; I'd chalked it up to a combination of my lifelong sensitivity/sporadic psychic skills, and my latent sadism.
The more I talked about it though, the less it sounded like just me being odd in my feelings towards people, and more like something a hell of a lot stranger. He breached the topic of vampirism first, I couldn't get up the guts to actually say it, let alone fully think it. He just asked me question after question, some of them relaying back to a former friend who was a psychic vampire.
My boyfriend has known me for about 8 years, we've been dating for 3, and he knows me better than just about anyone. He's also a hell of a skeptic, and was always the most invaluable to have around when we still did a lot of EVP work (I got shaken easily, half of the time because I can be a bit of a wuss and the other half because of the feelings I'd get from whatever was around).
A few nights ago, he asked me to try pulling off of him, the same way we used to basically 'tap into' each others heads (another former friend taught us how to do it, I've always been exceptionally good at it but with zero control of it) and to just try and pull. And I managed to do it, after a lot of trying and frustration and him helping me along.
And I just...god, I just felt so much better. My almost-constant headache went away, I felt all giddy, it was like being on drugs but instead of everything being dulled down and muffled, it was all hyper-there. I've hit that state before, usually when I get incredibly angry, happy, or have particularly good sex. I never knew what it was, just that it felt so powerful, and oddly natural.
Since that night, we've been going out a lot more, trying to pick up on that whole "latent energy" thing, and it feels so weird to say that its almost like coming home. I've always been the one to like large parties and crowds, but from a disconnected distance; if I could be invisible and just exist in big groups, I'd love it. I hate interacting with people I don't know, though.
There's a lot more to this, more that probably makes me sound insane, more that I don't want to clog up space with.
At any rate, all I know is that since about November (semi-large personal trauma) I've felt this massive shifting change inside of me, and this past week I've felt so positively right, I just...I can't help thinking this is what it is. It just makes so much about me make sense, and NOTHING else has ever done that.
To put things simply, things are weird for me, and always have been. I don't want to drop my entire life story on you folks, but I've had a seemingly never-ending series of odd events, feelings and things throughout my life that never quite made sense until about a week ago.
It started with a semi-innocuous conversation with my boyfriend, talking about odd feelings I had towards certain types of people; I'd chalked it up to a combination of my lifelong sensitivity/sporadic psychic skills, and my latent sadism.
The more I talked about it though, the less it sounded like just me being odd in my feelings towards people, and more like something a hell of a lot stranger. He breached the topic of vampirism first, I couldn't get up the guts to actually say it, let alone fully think it. He just asked me question after question, some of them relaying back to a former friend who was a psychic vampire.
My boyfriend has known me for about 8 years, we've been dating for 3, and he knows me better than just about anyone. He's also a hell of a skeptic, and was always the most invaluable to have around when we still did a lot of EVP work (I got shaken easily, half of the time because I can be a bit of a wuss and the other half because of the feelings I'd get from whatever was around).
A few nights ago, he asked me to try pulling off of him, the same way we used to basically 'tap into' each others heads (another former friend taught us how to do it, I've always been exceptionally good at it but with zero control of it) and to just try and pull. And I managed to do it, after a lot of trying and frustration and him helping me along.
And I just...god, I just felt so much better. My almost-constant headache went away, I felt all giddy, it was like being on drugs but instead of everything being dulled down and muffled, it was all hyper-there. I've hit that state before, usually when I get incredibly angry, happy, or have particularly good sex. I never knew what it was, just that it felt so powerful, and oddly natural.
Since that night, we've been going out a lot more, trying to pick up on that whole "latent energy" thing, and it feels so weird to say that its almost like coming home. I've always been the one to like large parties and crowds, but from a disconnected distance; if I could be invisible and just exist in big groups, I'd love it. I hate interacting with people I don't know, though.
There's a lot more to this, more that probably makes me sound insane, more that I don't want to clog up space with.
At any rate, all I know is that since about November (semi-large personal trauma) I've felt this massive shifting change inside of me, and this past week I've felt so positively right, I just...I can't help thinking this is what it is. It just makes so much about me make sense, and NOTHING else has ever done that.